Scott Kiloby's blog on the effect of progressive spirituality on LGBT identities, relationships and politics

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The Deepest Work of Civil Rights Happens Within

      BY SCOTT KILOBY     I really don’t like the word homophobia because I don’t like labels generally – at least the kind that are used to put people in boxes. This is the same reason that I don’t walk around each day thinking of myself...

Love your body; just say no to cultural conditioning

      By Lisa Meuser     I came across this article today and it got me thinking about the work I’ve done with clients and myself regarding body images- how we see our own body as well as other bodies. In the article, the author asks the question: “Does...

Living Inquiries explores sexuality and gender

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Unfinding our Identity

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Are our LGBT identities who we truly are?  Are there deficiency stories hooked into them (e.g., “I’m not acceptable”)?  Can true acceptance ever be found outside ourselves?   The Living Inquiries release the emotional sting that comes from clinging too tightly to these mental stories (without denying the natural expression of love, sex, femininity, and masculinity in everyday life).

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Recent Blog Posts from Scott

June 29, 2015 |

The Deepest Work of Civil Rights Happens Within

      BY SCOTT KILOBY     I really don’t like the word homophobia because I don’t like labels generally – at least the kind that are used to put people in boxes. This is the same reason that I don’t walk around each day thinking of myself as gay. No thanks. Take your box somewhere else. Yes, for conventional purposes, I am gay. But the word is not what I am. Nor is the word “homophobic” what other people are who do not like or who fear gay people. But the word homophobia does, at least, speak to the fear underneath the issue. Phobia means fear. Some of my gay and lesbian...

May 22, 2014 |

Love your body; just say no to cultural conditioning

      By Lisa Meuser     I came across this article today and it got me thinking about the work I’ve done with clients and myself regarding body images- how we see our own body as well as other bodies. In the article, the author asks the question: “Does geography influence the body types we idealize and are attracted to?” The author goes on to talk about the research done, and the results.  First, the research: “There’s a lot written about the effects of culture and media on the bodily standards we uphold. But the International Body Project, a survey of 7,434 people worldwide, aimed to investigate whether there were more base-level factors motivating our...

May 22, 2014 |

Sex Isn’t Bad, Bad Sex is Bad

        By Scott Kiloby    Ken Wilber stated in one of his books, “Sex isn’t bad, only bad sex is bad,” as a way to speak to how some spiritual/religious traditions and other therapeutic models make sweeping statements that condemn sex as a whole. Sex is made into a dirty and wrongful act.  This is a topic worth discussing when it comes to sex addiction/recovery and how our personal and cultural views play into it. In my years of working with men and women on sex addiction, I’ve noticed that most of the addictive or compulsive behaviors around sex have to do with stories of deficiencies such as “I’m not good...

July 2, 2013 |

The Current Political G-Spots: God and Gays

Scott Kiloby, July 1, 2013 There are many possible perspectives on the gay marriage issue, each of them partial.  This is merely one perspective. Now that the historic Supreme Court gay marriage decisions have been handed down, the summer of 2013 centers on two political G-spots:  God and gays.  As I watch the talking heads on both sides of the debate,  it seems on the surface that the central issue is “What would Jesus do?”  Would he cry in the face of this moral decay or would he think that gay marriage is fabulous?  Religious gay marriage opponents are citing God as the ultimate authority.  And the LGBT community is scrambling to meet them...

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