Blurred Lines of Authentic Expression

This article was written by Lisa Meuser, a Senior Facilitator/Trainer of the Living Inquiries. Her website is www.integrativehealingnow.com. I have a client who was biologically born female and changed into a male through hormone replacement and surgery in his early 20s. As he [1] was growing up in a female form, she knew she was different from his peers for the simple reason that she was not attracted to men. She acknowledged her attraction to females in her early teens, was openly gay during high school, and had relationships with females. She continued to feel different, however, feeling she never fit in. She felt rejected at large from society, and even though her family said they accepted her as gay, she never truly felt accepted by them, or good enough. There was a general state of discomfort, of unease, experienced. There is a lot to this story that is missing with regard to all the various factors that were involved in her decision to become male. For the purposes of this blog post, I’m going to fast-forward to current times, a few years after the transformation from female to male took place. When I met Tim [2], he was seeking services for anxiety. I engaged in a number of different modalities with clients, and after discussing options with Tim, we decided on Living Inquiries, using the ‘anxiety inquiry’ along with the ‘unfindable inquiry’ (http://www.integrativehealingnow.com/addictions.html).  A lot of Tim’s anxiety was found in self-identification thoughts such as, I’m the one who is a freak, the one who is not good enough, the one who fears rejection, and the one who doesn’t fit in. Such thought patterns and deficiency stories are not unique to Tim. I’ve yet to meet a human on the planet who doesn’t have deficiency stories that they experience from time to time. However, sometimes these stories are very active, and the mind/body then references these stories constantly. These stories start to take a life of their own—as if they really are true—and it can seem to the holder of these thoughts that that they determine our lives and our experiences. The result of this can be anxiety, compulsions, addictions, depression, physical ailment, and so on. Tim’s deficiency stories from his youth were still quite alive. His current issues were mainly about fitting in, or more accurately, not fitting in. He projected his anger and frustration about this out into the world, onto the various people in his life—from family members, to people at work to friends/lovers, to large political groups. No matter where he turned, he felt excluded and rejected. And as was stated earlier, Tim had literally changed himself in the biggest way imaginable—his gender.  He...

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Coming Out, Getting Clean and Finding Buddha – Chris Lemig

Coming Out, Getting Clean and Finding Buddha – Chris Lemig

Chris Lemig spent twenty-three years of his life in the dark closet of addiction and self-hatred. After coming out as being gay in 2007, he discovered the teachings of the Buddha and never looked back. He is deeply concerned with issues relating to the mental and spiritual wellbeing of modern culture and is looking for ways to bring happiness and contentment back into our lives. Chris sometimes lives in India where he studies Tibetan language. He writes about coming out, sobriety and Buddhism on his blog http://www.thenarrowwaybook.com. The following is an excerpt from his book, The Narrow Way, a Memoir of Coming Out, Getting Clean and Finding Buddha. Chapter 18 Rebirth Time passes unhindered. When we make mistakes, we cannot turn back and try again. All we can do is use the present well. H.H. The XIV Dalai Lama Up, up, up I climb. Up into Rocky Mountain foothills; up into the heart of my fears and limitations. The whoosh of the highway is now far in the distance as the still air becomes thin and clear. Cool rivers of sweat pour from my temples running fast down my neck and back. Today, six months before heading off to India, I am alive! I walk a furious pace, over the craggy landscape, through awakening sage and scrub oak, bound and determined to conquer these seven miles that have turned me back a dozen times. But five months without cigarettes or liquor now and my lungs feel like new. I breathe in deep at the two-mile mark, the start of the long loop trail, and pause. I will not turn back this time. I will not give up. I have come too far, too fast. Five months old now. A new born and delighted at the rush of senses only just discovered. I think back, remembering that first day, the day of my rebirth. I can see myself coming home from the short vacation I took just after coming out. I thought I should celebrate. But now, standing outside the airport waiting for my ride, I look long and hard at the crumpled pack of Camels in my hand. My eyes follow down, down as they fall away into the trash and I dive in after them in my mind, trembling at the thought of walking the path ahead without my dear old crutch. But then a shout from my cousin’s husband in the pick up lane and I hop into the truck. “Whoa, you smell like booze!” he says. “One last bender,” I say. One last desperate grasp at the old way. One last bout with the hammer over my head.  But then I imagined my new life out...

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Make a Difference for LGBT Athletes at 2020 Olympics

Make a Difference for LGBT Athletes at 2020 Olympics

From Huffington Post: Russia has made its share of headlines lately and it looks like their 2014 Olympic games could have a ripple effect felt for years to come. Earlier this summer, President Putin signed an anti-LGBT bill into law essentially making it illegal for any Russian citizen (or even tourists visiting the country) to wear “gay propaganda” or proclaim his or her homosexuality in public for fear of receiving fines or being imprisoned. Athlete Ally, a non-profit organization which works to help end discrimination and ignorance towards LGBT athletes in organized sports, has turned to social media in hopes of ensuring that future Olympics are held where LGBT athletes are welcomed.  Read the full artice...

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My Story Is Out: High School Years

My Story Is Out: High School Years

Author and contributor to this site, Lyndsey Darcangelo, is working on an anthology called, My Story Is Out: High School Years. This is a compilation of stories of high school experiences of LGBT people. Anyone of any age can submit a story about their high school experience as an LGBT teen. The goal of this book is to create a network of support for LGBT students, so that high school doesn’t seem like such an overwhelming and unwelcoming place. Anyone interested in more information about the book or entering a submission for the book can visit...

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LGBT Living Inquiries Facilitators

LGBT Living Inquiries Facilitators

Meet the Facilitators. I’m happy to introduce you to the LGBT Living Inquiries Facilitators.  These facilitators are trained in the Living Inquiries, which are the tools you see featured on this page, “Unfinding Identities.”  Each of them are highly skilled and each are LGBT.  You can bring anything to these facilitators and they can help you undo the Velcro Effect in it, including deficiency stories (e.g., “I’m unlovable,” “I’m unacceptable,” “I’m not safe”), beliefs around homophobia, sexuality, and gender, issues around sex addiction or other addictions, fear or anxiety-producing thoughts, and even LGBT identities themselves.  Any of these can create suffering when there is a strong identification with them.  These facilitators use the tools in my book, “Living Relationship,” found at www.livingrelationship.org and “Natural Rest for Addiction” (coming soon).       Sabin Epstein Sabinreese@hotmail.com “For me, the Living Inquiries are a way of looking–at identity, concepts, objects and seeing –and feeling–through my assumptions and long held beliefs of what I thought I knew to be true about me, about my world, about what lies ahead in the future. The sense of separateness, “otherness,” the belief that “there’s something wrong with me” have been evaporating with LI.  They’re just thoughts attached to energy–and I can’t find any of those identites when I truly stop, rest and look.  When a sensation arises “telling” me I’m in danger, I can’t trust or I’m not safe, I’m aware that it’s energy I’m experiencing, not “reality.” Images from the past–being bullied, rejected, criticized, condemned–are now images and not “reality.”  I experience my life with greater presence and greater awareness–and its on-going.  There’s no “there” to get to–just emotions, sensations, feeling & energy velcroed to words and images waiting to be questioned.   Lisa Meuser llmeuser@me.com www.integrativehealingnow.com Lisa is a certified Living Inquires Facilitator as well as a somatic therapist. She invites others from the LGBT community to explore her web site and contact her if they are inspired to look into their own deficiency stories, beliefs, and/or release past trauma.   “These days, my sexual preference of bisexual feels neutral- not good or bad, but instead simply what is.  Doing inquiry helped me see through old or lingering identities/belief systems that I had attached to the idea of sexuality. Ultimately, it has allowed me to experience sexual freedom- to be who I am,...

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